I remember it has been three years since I last left the country. Just after my last contract in my employment overseas. It was a few weeks of non-consecutive days or weeks. It was just a way to enjoy a free time. It was a treat ti myself for a job well done.
But then like any other human being, we get bored. We get jittery with our adult obligation to provide and have source of income. We long for work. Work maybe tiring but it does gives you sense of purpose at times. Work is noble. It gives you dignity. It separates you from the people others call a burden. At least you are able to pay for your own cost of living instead of being a freeloader in your parents household.
Probably I am a workaholic. I always want to make sure that work is done right and through and through. I can’t say I am perfectionist, maybe I just want make sure that something is done. If not done right at least it is mitigated. As they say, put yourselves in the shoes of the customer.
But stress comes with such effort. At times or most of the time you become stoned heart that things are automatic. Leading to dissatisfaction. To doubt whether you have done something of value. Because you are so drawn into it you are not able to distinguish what is what. Sad to say at times you become a machine.
At this point you need to snap. You need to deviate. We are not limitless.
Your automatic life no matter how busy it may seem is stagnation, you have become stationary. Thus, you net to hit the reset button. You need to get out to re-calibrate. Be in a new environment. No connection to what is non-constructive estate brought about by your indulgement to busyness.
And so out of the blue you snap. But I am not sure if you have truly snapped to reality.