I never thought that I would do this again. It has been months now since I am unemployed and I really don’t link this situation or status. I did go to great interviews but to date not one offered a a good one. Should I accept something below my standard or accept in order just to get of this label.
Besides the status, I am gaining weight. Staying at my sister’s place in the city makes me stationary. Yes it helps that the phone signal is ok and the internet is reliable but the lifestyle and the environment where noise is everywhere is really that not helpful. Yes this is the city but I hope at least there is a quiet place to reflect and meditate. It could be a big open park where there are trees and green grass, or a strip of land beside a lake or the sea. Life at times is really a mystery.
I have been dreaming of a better life. Simpler and enjoyable but when I came back in the Philippines you can read the faces of people you know judging you why you quit a a life in the palce they call greener pasture. No offense but is Philippines not also a greener pasture?
Sad to say people around you are the very ones that guide you that signal. People you thought were your allies. I am struggling. Struggling to understand why things here are like that. I came back to avoid things that is already complicated. I am sorry if I have a standard that I follow. I guess my truthfulness is my weakness, my krytonite.
At times I wonder what will happen next to my life. I really don’t know. I did have a plan and I came back hoping it was the time already to execute that plan but I was wrong. Just like the story Series of unfortunate events one bad thing happen after the other. At times I ask God why. At times I begin to question His abundant blessing SOP. At times I envy those who at least have work to do instead of me just here. I cannot even write blog post because there is no inspiration or creative energy spilling out of mew…I guess when people who you thing your allies begin to drift you lose that energy to create.
But I know this is not the end. ANd that God never abandons. I keep praying that He be with me when all are already gone. And show me the path that I should be taking specially now that all the plans I have made are all gone. I need to write my life again.